The Greening of Stephen Harper

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by John Allemang

Ignore the Arctic’s melting caps
The warnings on the weather maps,
The ozone layer’s gaping holes,
But Stephen, don’t ignore the polls.
When worried voters all go green,
A nation’s leader must be seen
To turn his platform on a dime
And shift convictions just in time
To save, if not the polar bear,
At least his party’s market share.

Your climate’s changed, if not your views.
Where once it pleased you to abuse
All those who dumped on CO2
As socialism’s wrecking crew,
Now, you pretend to see the light
And fight Stéphane Dion’s good fight.
With born-again believer’s zeal,
Just swear that global warming’s real —
Adapt, unlike the polar bears,
And you’ll survive the pollster’s scares.

From The Globe and Mail, February 3, 2007.
Reprinted by kind permission of the author